I'm letting go......

I've been listening to 94.9 KLTY a lot more lately. They play this song by a new artist named, Francesca Battistelli. Her debut album, "My Paper Heart" has a great song on it entitled, "I'm Letting Go". It's a great song! It talks about letting go of the life that I planned in order to accept the one that Christ has for me. It's soooooo......... powerful. It is exactly the place that I find myself these days. As I look back on the struggles and challenges I've faced, I often imagine what my life may have been like had I made some different choices. Then I realize that I am in exactly the place that God wants me to be. I decided a long time ago that God's plan was better than anything that I could dream up and I surrendered my plan for His. It's the least I could do, right? After all, He gave His son for me. This song just encourages me and helps me go a little further. Even though I don't completely understand the plan God has for me, I TRUST Him. When things get tough and I want God to just fix things, He always asks, "Do you trust me?" Each time I tell Him that I do trust Him and the fire gets just a little bit hotter but my faith grows that much more.

Lately, I have found myself having to "let go" of expectations. After getting married, I remember wanting so bad to be a mom and have a daughter, one just like me. Until having children of my own, I didn't realize that when they get here, they are already who God wants them to be. I had this romanticized notion that parents were the ones who shaped their children and that their personalities arose from that. Boy, was I wrong! God did give me that daughter, however, she turned out to be so different from the little girl I always imagined. She wasn't a "mini-me" at all. She is full of life and joy, has a quick wit, and will melt your heart in an instant. I'm still trying to "let go" of those expectations that I had. It's a daily thing that I have to do. Sometimes, I feel like I yell too much or that I'm not getting this parenting thing right. How can I be the kind of mom to my kids that my mom was to me? How can I shape them into being what God has destined them to be? Then, a song comes on the radio and reminds me to "let go" of the plans I had for me and my kids. After all, He chose me to be their mom. I know that I won't get everything right. I just have to accept His plan and do my best to teach them to do the same. Today, Trinity helped me put things into perspective. Even though she got into trouble today and I had to discipline her, she still told me that she loved me and that I was "The Best Mommy Ever". That just made my day. I really needed to hear that. I was feeling guilty for not spending as much time with her as I'd like to because I have to take care of Madison too. Inspite of it all, my kids know that I am doing my best and the truth is, they don't know any different.

I just wanted to share with you today that yes, sometimes it does feel like we're falling, but as long as we stay in God's will and "let go" of our own agenda, there is never a need to worry or to fear. His Word is true. He will never leave us or forsake us. We just have to be willing to "let go".